Navigating Menopause: What My Experience Taught Me
I never thought I’d have children. That was just how I’d framed my life, until my late 30s, when I met the love of my life and suddenly, the ticking of the biological clock became impossible to ignore.
For years, I struggled with my menstrual cycle. Painful periods, borderline anemia, and fatigue were my norm. But as I got older, things worsened. My cycle became unpredictable and relentless. I was constantly bloated, often looking pregnant despite maintaining a healthy lifestyle. My tummy hurt, my energy plummeted, and my periods became never-ending. Medications couldn’t stop the bleeding. My body seemed to override every treatment.
Eventually, an ultrasound revealed a fibroid, a benign but disruptive growth in my uterus. I was referred to a gynaecologist who laid out my options. After years of suffering, I had THE conversation with my partner:
“If you want children, you need to leave me. I need to end this pain and have a hysterectomy.” He stood by me. And I was more excited than scared. I just wanted the pain to stop.
The Aftermath
Waking up post-surgery, I was sore and swollen, but hopeful. The bleeding and pain were gone. What I hadn’t anticipated was the emotional fallout. I felt less than, less of a woman, less worthy. Thoughts flooded in:
“What if I’d had a child?”
“Would I have been a good mum?”
“Have I let my partner down?”
Recovery was slow but steady. I rebuilt my strength and stamina. But then came the hot flushes, drenching night sweats, anxiety through the roof, and a personality shift I couldn’t explain. I felt like a shadow of myself. My doctor dismissed the idea of menopause, saying my ovaries were still intact. So I accepted this “new normal,” believing I had simply changed. But something didn’t sit right. I dug deeper and discovered that even when ovaries are left during a hysterectomy, they can go into shock and stop producing oestrogen, a hormone vital to so many aspects of wellbeing.
Armed with this knowledge, I returned to my GP. We had an open conversation, and I was prescribed HRT. Within weeks, I felt like me again. The change was profound. After entering surgical menopause, hormone replacement therapy (HRT) helped me reclaim my quality of life. But it's important to recognise that HRT isn’t the right path for everyone. Each woman’s experience is unique, and seeking professional medical advice is essential to explore the best options for support and treatment.
What I Learned
I now use my lived experience as a kind of superpower. I guide other women to seek answers, to advocate for themselves, and to challenge the silence around menopause. Too often, women are misdiagnosed with mental health disorders when the root cause is hormonal. That’s not okay.
Menopause deserves open dialogue, respect, and treatment. Six years on, I’ve made peace with my journey. I didn’t have children, and I’ve had parts of me removed, but I am still a woman. I am enough.
If you need help navigating the symptoms of menopause, including but not limited to hot flushes, rage, depression, anger, brain fog, anxiety, hot flashes, inability to concentrate, feelings of worthlessness, feeling useless, feeling upset then please reach out. Our Christchurch therapy clinic has helped many women experiencing negative symptoms of menopause. If you feel that you are not being listened to or you don’t have anyone safe to talk to, I am here to help and I have been through it all. What you are feeling is normal.